


Side Effects

by Xiaojian



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Dry Humping, M/M, PW-Era, the old meme fill dump continues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:48:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6733054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xiaojian/pseuds/Xiaojian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't go eating every strange animal you come across in the jungle. Sometimes they carry side effects. And sometimes those side effects kick in while you're on a date at the beach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Side Effects

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a request from mgs-kink on dreamwidth.

Kaz couldn’t believe his luck.

He hadn’t actually expected his boss to agree to meet him at the beach in between missions. He knew a romantic sunset date wasn’t exactly the man’s style – not by a long shot. The bewildered way he had responded to Kaz’s suggestion just enforced that notion. But in the end, he had agreed. It was a date.

Kaz thought, as he sniffed at the salt in the air, that he was a very lucky man. Now, he just needed to be a very smooth one.

It takes a special kind of bad taste to wear a tuxedo and a bandana to a date on the beach. No one could accuse Snake of being under-dressed, at least. At least he was here, and that was the important part. And he had possessed enough tact not to bring his more clunky firearms along with him, so Kaz couldn’t complain.

Especially not when he somehow made a tuxedo and a bandana look _good._

But when he started things out by awkwardly creeping up on Kaz and staring for a few moments before muttering “Kept you waiting, huh,” Kaz knew he was going to have to be the one leading things here.

“Can’t wait any longer. The sunset should start soon. Why don’t we sit over on that dock, get a nice view?”

“Alright.”

A couple minutes later, and the two had settled down, feet dangling over the edge of the sturdy wooden dock. The water was a few inches shy of actually touching their toes, but Kaz convinced Snake to ditch the fancy dress shoes anyway. No sense in taking a risk and getting expensive things dirty.

They were in the midst of a casual conversation about resource management back at base when Snake’s expression suddenly turned sour. 

“And, I mean, if they really need that much toilet paper, then we should at least reconsider the…” Kaz trailed off as he noticed his boss suddenly looking rather worse for wear. His face was flushed a red that was too deep to come from the lighting of the sunset, and his breathing had become noticeably louder. He started tugging at the stiff collar of his suit, eyes unfocused.

“Boss? What is it?” 

“I don’t know…I feel…weird.” Snake’s words were short, unsteady. Kaz’s mind suddenly ran with thoughts of sabotage, poison.

“Is it something natural? Do you think someone might have poisoned you? If so, I’ll get help-“

“No, not poison…it doesn’t feel like…” Snake’s eyes darted around the area, not focusing on anything. Suddenly, he stood up.

“Um. I’ll be right back. Don’t move, and don’t follow me.”

Kaz watched, concerned, as he walked briskly into the sparse trees surrounding the sand. He could tell by his unstable gait that he was in pain. Maybe he ate something bad? Big Boss was legendary for his inclination towards eating any old animal that ran across his path.

Either way, he clearly had to deal with something on his own. Kaz turned back to the horizon, fiddling with a loose board on the dock. He mentally swore that if his first successful date with his boss was ruined by indigestion, he’d eat his sunglasses.

A minute passed. Then five. Then ten. At that point, Kaz decided to take matters into his own hands.

"Snake, it’s me. Where the hell are you, and what the hell are you doing? If you’ve died on me in the middle of our date, I’ll resurrect you just so I can kill you again."

There was a long silence on the other end of the line, broken by ragged breathing.

_Don’t…don’t come here. Shit, I can’t…it hurts…I can’t…_

Kaz’s heart dropped into his stomach as he scrambled to his feet and started jogging in the direction he’d seen Snake leave.

"Screw that, where are you? If you’re hurt, you need help."

All he got in response was a quiet, pained groan.

"Just hold on, okay? Stay where you are. I’ll find you soon."

True to his word, less than a minute later he nearly tripped over Snake, lying curled up in the foliage on the ground. He crouched down, but the way Snake was lying made it impossible to see his face or most of his body.

“It’s me. Look, I need to see what kind of injuries you have, so you better move.”

Again, he got a groan in response. This time followed by a pained “…no.”

“Snake! Damn it!”

He grabbed the other man’s arms and rolled him over, assessing him for signs of harm. His faced was completely red, covered with a sheen of sweat. His eyes were pressed shut, his mouth set in a grimace. His arms were shaking, his fists clenched. His crotch was –

Oh.

Kaz took a moment to stare before coming back to himself. This clearly wasn’t just a random boner – the boss looked like he was in pain.

“Snake? It’s okay, calm down. Listen, did anyone give you something strange to drink? Did you get stung by something? I know there are some venoms that can have side effects along these lines.”

Snake shuddered under his hands.

“No…nothing stung me…but…oh god, that animal I ate this morning…I didn’t recognize it, but I thought…” His voice was mostly breath. He abruptly sat up, clutching his head.

“I’m sorry you had to see this…look, I can just sit here…wait until it goes away…I can’t really move because of it, but after a while, it has to go away…”

“Boss!” Snake was startled at the vehemence in Kaz’s voice. He finally opened his eyes as he looked up. They were red and hazy.

“You’re in _pain!_ You’re not waiting for anything. Either you deal with it now,” he only paused for a second before blurting out, “Or I can.”

Snake’s eyes were already wide, but they managed to open even wider at that.

“…Kaz?”

Kaz refused to be embarrassed or shy. He gripped Snake’s face, made eye contact.

“I don’t let my men down when they’re in need. If you want to forget this ever happened the moment it’s over, it’s done. But right now, you need this, and I’m offering it.”

Snake’s expression was unreadable. Finally, he offered a small, almost imperceptible nod.

Kaz didn’t need to be told twice.

Originally, he had planned for something more traditional – using his hands, or mouth – but with Snake in the state he was, that soon proved impossible. It was clear that whatever was affecting him made him hypersensitive to every little touch, and getting his painfully hard cock free of the suit proved a struggle. Every touch Kaz placed on his lower body had him jerking into it, gasping and groaning. Frustrated, Kaz gave up and just started stroking Snake through his dress pants.

If he could have recorded the sound Snake made in response to that, he would have kept it for every late, lonely night for the foreseeable future.

Snake’s arms were wrapped around his neck in a death grip, his ragged breath turning into outright panting. Kaz noticed something about the way Snake was moving – besides the wonderful way his hips were moving against his hand. He looked like he wanted to move closer, do something, but kept holding himself back. Kaz hoped he was reading him right as he leaned in and spoke softly but clearly into his ear.

“If there’s anything you want to do, do it. I’m all yours.”

Snake made a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

“…you sure?”

Kaz smiled, nodded.

“Never more sure of anything in my life.”

There was a small moment where both of them stopped moving, stared at each other, did nothing at all. Then Kaz found himself shoved backwards onto the ground, with Snake bucking his hips against his groin.

If you’d asked him before this, Kaz would have never listed dry humping as a particularly pleasing sexual activity. Damn if Snake wasn’t doing his best to change his mind.

He returned the favor enthusiastically, grinding against the man on top of him. The noises Snake was making didn’t do anything to deter him – animalistic grunts, moans, and panting. Both of them lost themselves in the moment, forgetting anything but the friction, the warmth they were exchanging. It couldn’t have been that long, but it seemed like ages later when Snake finally came with a shout and collapsed, rolling to the side.

Kaz finished himself off, somehow managing to stay quiet. After staring up at the sky for a while, he turned to find Snake awkwardly stumbling to his feet, looking down at himself.

“I knew I shouldn’t have worn a suit.”


End file.
